


after several years, he sheds a single tear onto deaths doorstep

by Gay_Gay_Gay



Series: Mostly Tommy Stuff [4]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anyways, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author has No Clue what they're Fucking Doing, Author is a TommyInnit Apologist (Video Blogging RPF), Dissociation, Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Ilysm, Panic Attacks, RIP, SMP Earth - Freeform, TommyInnit is Not Okay (Video Blogging RPF), and you dont deserve air, dont read my fucking fic :], dont touch my fic, emphasis on the hurt, exile arc, eye ur amazing, fuck off, fuck off if ur a shipper, i do not want you here, love yall, my beta is the ppl who read the 'WIP' channel in lillians discord, no beta we die, onto the show, thats it, this shit isnt for you, to the actual tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 21:01:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29765541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gay_Gay_Gay/pseuds/Gay_Gay_Gay
Summary: Tommy is numb.Deo takes him home.Tommy misses the ocean.
Relationships: Bitzel & Kit | Wispexe & Luke | LukeOrSomething & Time Deo & TommyInnit, Bitzel & Luke | LukeOrSomething & Time Deo & TommyInnit, Bitzel & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Kit | Wispexe & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Luke | LukeOrSomething & TommyInnit, Time Deo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: Mostly Tommy Stuff [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2033974
Comments: 14
Kudos: 166





	after several years, he sheds a single tear onto deaths doorstep

**Author's Note:**

  * For [scar_letstrings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scar_letstrings/gifts).
  * Inspired by [starfoam](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29546523) by [scar_letstrings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scar_letstrings/pseuds/scar_letstrings). 



> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

tommy watches the ocean.

he watches the ocean as people come to visit him.

he watches the ocean as they apologize to him.

he watches the ocean as they beg for him to go back to how he was.

he watches the ocean as they slowly realize that the old him died long ago.

and was never coming back.

he watches the ocean as one of his oldest friends, a person who he hasnt seen in over three years, shows up.

he watches the ocean as he finally starts to realize exactly what hes dealing with.

he watches the ocean as he argues with people, shouting obscenities about how horrible they were for never helping him. only hurting.

he watches the ocean as he eventually comes to sit with him. deo, is his name, if he remembers correctly  ~~(how does he remember that he shouldnt remember him remembering hurts remembering hurts remembering hu~~ ) . deo gently wraps an arm around him, pulling the taller close and softly kissing his forehead. deo says something. he doesnt care about what deo has to say.

he tries to watch the ocean as hes pulled away. but its gone. where is it? wheres the ocean? the ocean is gentle when he needs it to be gentle and harsh and rude and forceful and  agonizing  when he needs it to be harsh wheres the ocean he needs it he needs it he nee

he wants the ocean.

hes in a new place. business bay, so its called, in a dead server. deo and him joining caused somebody named josh to become suspicious. josh took one look at him and quickly gave deo health pots  ~~ (when was the last time he had seen health pots its because nobody wants you healed you should get away from them get away get away get away get away g) ~~ and wishes deo good luck.

hes surprised when deo treats him like a real person. deo gives him food, only smiles and nods he has to spoon feed him. deo gently lifts his chin and pours water down his throat. it feels nice when all hes been drinking is seawater that managed to make its way down his throat when he goes in deep enough.

he wants the ocean. atleast being with something so  agonizing felt normal.

  
  
deo holds him and rubs his back when he gets scared of creepers blowing up and starts to hyperventilate silently. hes always been different when it came to panic attacks. hed never rock back and forth while hyperventilating and crying as everyone thinks people who have panic attacks do, hed just silently sit and space out, falling victim to thoughts that consumed him. 

  
  
  


deo pulls him close tells him deo loves him when he needs it. deo whispers sweet nothings into his ear as he trembles. deo helps him slowly recover.

  
  


deo cries when he speaks for the first time. deo hugs him and reassures him that its because deo's happy, not because deo's upset. 

  
  


deo cries harder when he initiates contact first. he holds him and whispers praise into his ear. he doesnt need to ask if deo's mad at him, he knows deo's not. 

  
  


deo earns his trust. it takes two years, but deo earns his trust, kissing his forehead and cuddling him close and assuring and reassuring and reassuring again that he was loved.

  
  


deo forces him out of his shell, and just like the ocean, deo is sweet and nice and kind and gentle when he needs deo to be gentle, and harsh when he needs deo to be harsh. 

  
  
  


deo forces him to meet the old members of business bay.

"theyre not old members, its still business bay through and through. just because wilbur made you leave for the smp doesnt mean that business bay stopped, just means we didnt have our leader with us at that moment. youll always be our leader, toms, through and through." that sentence made him panic  ~~ (he cant be a leader wil said hed never be president he cant he ca-) ~~  
  


_ ("yes you can.") _

  
  
  
  
  


deo introduces him to luke, first. luke was the bay's head builder  _ (its okay to remember)  _ and was kind when no one else was. he hid his intentions through calmaity and sweetness, but knew how to fuck somebody up if needed. he made potion after potion and cooked because they were all teenage boys who had no clue how to. 

  
  


luke gently warms up to him by slowly yet surely getting closer and closer to him everyday. deo would force him and luke into a room where he would sit on a couch and luke would sit on a chair across from him. everyday, the chair got a bit closer. everyday, he got a bit closer to speaking with luke. everyday, the urge to hug luke got harder and harder to ignore.

  
  


luke eventually discarded the chair and sat next to him on the couch. that was the first day that he responded to something luke said, and it made luke beam with happiness and pride. 

  
  


luke stayed with him when he had a panic attack one day while they met up. nothing brought it on, he'd just been antsy all day. luke asked him if he wanted to get deo. he said no. luke only smiled and held him close.

luke and deo broke the news to him that hed be meeing with bitzel. he missed the sarcastic boy. but he was still scared of bitz. what if bitz had changed? what if he had changed? would bitz like him?   
  


_ (of course he would. and if he didnt, luke and deo would murder him on the spot.) _

  
  
  


bitz liked him. bitz was the same way to him as bitz was back in smpearth. bitz was sarcastic and funny and loud and was sweet and understanding and kind all the same. bitz was everything his brothers werent, but bitz was also everything they were at the same time. bitz was protective and blunt just like the eldest  ~~ (say his name say it say it say it hes a person too hes a person hell be mad at you for not understandi) ~~ _ (you already understand far too well for a seventeen year old)  _ but wasnt possessive or unemotional. bitz was gentle and had a sharp tounge but wasnt overbearing or a piece of shit like the dead one ~~(he had his reasoning you were bad you shouldnt blame him he had every right to hurt you no not hurt you punish you you deserved it you de) ~~ _ (you didnt do a goddamned thing wrong. if you did, its because you werent allowed to grow up. youve been fighting since you were nine, you deserve a chance to make mistakes.) _ .

  
  


bitz held him as he ranted about the similarites between bitz and his family  _ (theyre not family) _ . bitz scratches the exact part of his head that makes him melt against bitz's chest. bitz smiled and laughed which made him curl even more into bitz's chest because the rumble noise it made felt and sounded nice. bitz kissed his forehead and threw him onto the couch while he scream-laughed. bitz forced him to leave the safe space he made for himself so that he could continue moving on with his life.

  
  


deo, luke, and bitz were all in the same room once. that never meant good. he doesnt remember much, all he does remember is luke softly explaining to him that he was going to be meeting the first person that genuinely broke his heart. he had fainted after that.

  
  


when he woke up, the first voice he heard was bitz. bitz says that it was extra. deo slaps the back of bitz's head the same time luke elbows bitz's gut. 

  
  
  


wisp shows up 3 days later with cookies and soft apologies. wisp doesnt try to get close to him and isnt allowed to be alone in the same room with him. wisp promises that he is sorry, wisp promises that if he could go back he would, wisp promises to be better.

wisp promised to protect him in the past. 

wisp says that he wishes to speak with him alone. he refuses. he continues to refuse everytime wisp asks (a total of two times) over the next two months.

  
  


wisp breaks in. wisp remembers where luke, deo, and bitz hid the key. wisp sneaks into his room and wakes him up. wisp puts his hand over his mouth as he screams. wisp gently moves back and says

"i wish i'd never done it. you dont believe me, but thats fine. i'll always love you."

and for the first time for almost three full years, tommy sheds a single tear.

**Author's Note:**

> the saying everyones name besides tommy excessively is purposful to indicate that 'tommy' isnt there anymore. no caps is intentional, no punctuation unless in someones name is intentional, kinda shitty grammar is intentional. if u saw a spelling error: no u fuvckihg didntrt
> 
> also yes i have two ongoing series' and two ongoing fic's that i need to update, its fine
> 
> god this took weeks to make help


End file.
